When you think about yourself, what do you think?

When you speak to yourself, what do you say?

When you want to take action on something, do you do it? Or do you talk yourself out of it?

When setting your New Year’s resolutions and goals or making any decisions to embark on a journey of self improvement, we always begin with great intentions.  Perhaps you want to get in shape, lose weight, eat better, start meditating, learn to dance, or any multitude of things that you know will make you feel better about yourself and improve your life.

These are terrific goals, however what can often happen is that the way in which you see yourself does not match the outcome you want to achieve.  For example, if you want to start meditating but you see yourself as someone who cannot sit still for even one minute and you believe it’s going to be really difficult to just sit quiet, then the prevailing thought you have about yourself is that you won’t be able to do it.  If, however, you decide to see yourself as someone who can learn new things and can envision all of the benefits you will achieve by meditating, then the way you see yourself immediately supports what you desire.

Or, let’s say you want to meet the love of your life.  You know what you want and have put yourself in all the right places and circumstances to find the right mate, but what you think about yourself is that you’re not really that good a catch, or you aren’t funny enough or soon they’ll see all of your imperfections. What you think about yourself will keep you from having a healthy, loving and successful relationship.

Have you ever known someone who is really an amazing person, talented, beautiful, intelligent, but they don’t see it?  No matter what you tell them, they don’t believe it about themselves so they go about their life believing they are not those things while everyone around them is baffled by the obvious.   How you see yourself is more important than how others see you and it will determine your outcomes long before you even get to them.

When we go through life thinking that when “this” or “that” happens, then we will be happy, then we will be successful, and then we will enjoy life, what is really happening is we do not see ourselves as capable of having or being all of that now.  Life is not about pushing the “pause” button and waiting to feel good later. Life is about living in the moment with as much joy and appreciation as possible which means that you learn to love yourself and appreciate who you are first.

“You cannot perform in a manner inconsistent with the way you see yourself.” ~ Zig Ziglar

“If you see yourself as prosperous, you will be.  If you see yourself as continually hard up, that is exactly what you will be.” ~ Robert Collier

Your thoughts are things, and they are constantly creating your reality.  Whatever you think about expands in your life, which is why it does not matter what others think about you, it’s what you think about yourself.  Attaining any of the goals you have set for yourself this year will come about by the thoughts you think about you.  There will always be things that we want to improve on within ourselves, but let me encourage you to mindfully celebrate your best qualities and make the way in which you see yourself a priority this year because it is the actual foundation from which all your choices, decisions and actions are based and makes all the difference in attaining any goals you have set for yourself.

Maybe you are in a relationship that you really want to work out but you just can’t seem to make it succeed. Maybe you have been pursuing a career path that you believe is right for you yet it’s not coming to fruition.  It may even be that you’ve found yourself trying keep your home, your employment or your finances intact, yet the external circumstances seem to be prohibiting the result you desire.

In the Abraham-Hicks teachings, there is a metaphor used to describe this type of resistance.  Basically, it goes like this; imagine that you are standing at the edge of a raging river.  You watch the water as it runs downstream, but you are determined to get upstream because you believe or have been told that what you want is up there.  So you place your boat in the water and use the oars to turn the boat around and begin paddling with all your might. The current of the river is strong but you are determined to get up the river so you paddle even harder, pushing against the force, meanwhile, exhausting yourself in the process.

Living with the belief that what we want is upstream; we work hard, play hard, live hard and end up tired, lifeless and unhappy.  We get stuck on “how” things will manifest, we fight for them to come about in the way we think they should. We have all been taught to never give up, to go for things with all our strength and to fight for what we want because our interminable effort will eventually pay off.

So, what do you do when you want something so badly yet all the results you are getting are that of struggle or conflict? Instead of paddling upstream, try pulling the oars into your boat and allow the river to take you where it will. In other words, surrender and learn to go with the flow of life. If you are determined and passionate, then something will always happen, it just doesn’t always happen the way you want it to. When you are not stuck on the “how”, you can allow opportunities to present themselves that may not have otherwise existed.

Do not view surrendering as giving up; there is a huge difference. To surrender means to yield, to concede to the way things are and to give way to something else without forcing it to happen our way.  Giving up is entirely different, it means to quit, to stop and to resign yourself to the idea that something is just not going to happen.  It’s important to know what you want and to take action steps every day to achieve your goals. However, you must also incorporate the Law of Allowing into the equation because there is a greater power at work in your life and surrender is the invitation by which we summon the mystery of life’s unfolding.

Never give up, but do surrender by waving that spiritual white flag and choose to go with the flow of whatever is happening that is causing great resistance because you just never know what may be right around the next corner when you’re willing to be unattached to the outcome.

“If things don’t work out the way you want them to, it just means there’s something better yet to come and you may never have found it if you hadn’t been forced too. With each change that you’re forced to make, life will take you into new worlds, introduce you to new people, open your eyes to things that you wouldn’t have seen otherwise. Just one introduction to one person, one person you would never have met had you not been forced into change, could re-arrange and re-shape your entire life into something you never could have even imagined before. With each change you have to make, a great many more options will open up to you; they always do. I know that change can be frightening, but you can’t let that hold you down, or hold you back. Tomorrow is a new day, so pull your shoulders back, raise your head up, and greet the morning sun with a smile on your face.  This could be just another day… or the beginning of the best day of your life. Step into the new day with a thirst for challenge and you might just be surprised with what comes your way.”

~ David Crawford, Author and Poet

Dreaming of people is probably the most common image we remember when recounting a dream.  Sometimes we dream of people we know, other times it’s someone we’ve never met.  And sometimes, we dream of celebrity actors and actresses. Regardless, we tend to dream of people that represent significant character aspects or qualities of being which is called an archetype. Simply stated, the word means a universally recognized image that is used to repeatedly represent the same thing.   Examples of this would be dreaming of people who represent the warrior, the damsel in distress, the lover, the tyrant, the injured, the child, the addict, the healer, the martyr, the victim and so forth.  In the dream we can be the one witnessing people displaying these qualities or we may actually be the ones exhibiting these qualities.

As an example, actresses that represent the archetype of the Goddess or Enchantress include Marilyn Monroe (Some Like it Hot), Scarlett Johansson (Girl with a Pearl Earring), Penelope Cruz (Vicky Cristina Barcelona), Halle Berry (Catwoman), Michelle Pfeiffer (Scarface), Sharon Stone (Basic Instinct), or Angelina Jolie (Wanted), etc.

Examples of actors that represent the archetype of the Hero or Warrior include John Wayne (The Alamo), Christopher Reeve (Superman), Russell Crowe (Gladiators), Tyrone Powers (The Mark of Zorro), Mark Hamill (Star Wars), or Sean Connery (James Bond), etc.

Actors are frequently recognized as the embodiment of these archetypal energies or recurring character types who have starred in story after story throughout the human experience just as they have for millennia.  Part of the movie experience is suspending our disbelief and allowing ourselves for a time to become part of the story. That in turn evokes an emotional reaction from us which we often experience for hours after the movie has ended. If the person we watched on the screen resonates with something happening in our life, consciously or unconsciously, we might dream of them or their character.

For example, in the movie Serendipity, John Cusack plays a man named Jonathan who unexpectedly meets a girl named Sara who believes that fate should determine whether or not they should be together. Over the course of the film, we watch as their own stories unfold and they both end up engaged to other people. Despite their situations, they each hold the dream deep inside that they will one day meet again.  Throughout the film, Jonathan’s qualities include being the seeker, the detective, the visionary, the knight and ultimately, the lover.  Now let’s say I’ve just watched this movie and I go home and fall asleep and in my dream John Cusack appears.  Since I have associated him with the qualities above, one of the ways I could work with this image is to notice the desire for that type of fateful love in my life, or I might observe the way in which I feel called to pursue my own dream, whatever it is, with that much passion, purpose and determination. What will determine my interpretation is looking at everything that happened in the dream.

Whether it’s battles or reconciliations, hopes or disappointments, beginnings or endings, heartbreaks or soul mates, we identify on some level with what we perceive the actors to represent because it mirrors something happening within us. They play the parts of people fighting or masterminding crimes, taking or saving lives, finding or losing perfect love, creating or destroying, saving or being saved and overcoming the impossible against all odds.

Have you recently had a dream of a celebrity?  If so, here are a few questions you can ask yourself when finding yourself conjuring celebrity images to see what they may be representing in your dreams:

~ Have you recently seen this actor in a show or movie? If so, what part did he/she play?

~ What archetype, or quality, does this actor represent to you? Use adjectives to describe him/her.

~ Are there any associations you make with this actor?  For example, what comes to you as you think about that person?

~ What emotional response is evoked within you as you think about them?

~ How are you similar to, or opposite from them or the part they played?

~ Is anything about this person’s behavior reminiscent of anything currently happening in your life?

Working with celebrities in your dreams will give you additional insight into what stories may be playing out within your own life. They can often show you changes in behaviors or beliefs that need to be integrated or eradicated in order to live more authentically.  As always, dreams are constantly communicating with us and it’s up to us to discover what they’re saying. Sometimes they appear to reveal how you truly feel about something or demonstrate what you desire to be, do or have in your life.

“As you perceive something, you give birth to a thought, and this thought now thinks. Now that it exists, now that it has been conjured, now that it has been focused, now it vibrates. Now, by Law of Attraction, other thoughts that are vibrationally same will come to it. So it begins its expansion immediately.”

I receive a daily quote from Abraham-Hicks Publications and this one is worth sharing.

Here, stated in this quote is a perfect example of an act of conscious conception, that infamous moment when you begin creating your reality with every thought you birth into existence. For some, it is a deliberate choice, intentionally thought out and followed through while for others, it happens as if by accident without much regard to the outcome. Placed in this context, it gives us a broadened perspective about how the thoughts we think directly affect the quality and outcomes of our lives and why.

Consciously or unconsciously, the thought we have given birth to begins to grow and we either find ourselves trying to force it into what we want it to be or we help it blossom into the potential it is imbued with.  Care is taken to nurture our perceptions which we either defend and protect or allow to grow and evolve as they bump up against that which challenges them and forces them to shift and change into something even healthier.

In manifesting the life you desire, it’s imperative to give birth to positive thoughts that support and empower you. And though it’s not difficult to change your thinking, it does require practice because the mind tends to dwell on that which is fearful, lacking, doubtful or wrong.  When allowed to run around uncontrolled in your mind, these kinds of thoughts have the ability to affect every area of your life without your even realizing it

Try this for the next few minutes. Watch everything that comes across your mind and notice what kind of thoughts you’re giving birth to. Are they the kinds of thoughts you want to keep multiplying into your reality? Do they make you feel uplifted or disempowered? Are they deliberately chosen or do they randomly burst forth based on habit?

As the deliberate creator of your life, practice restating your thoughts with conscious intent.  Choose what you think about with discernment and mindfulness because thoughts are things and will undoubtedly create your reality. Find ways to recreate your thoughts in a way that allows you to feel like you just gave birth to a new life with the power to help you achieve your dreams.

Have you ever had someone ask you if you knew what your life’s purpose was and felt completely stumped?  I certainly have, it just sounded so daunting and so big that all I could say was, “Oh gosh if only I knew! I’ve been trying to figure that out for years!” But when asked what I was passionate about, well I could go on about that for hours!

Here’s a little secret; our passions and our purpose are directly related.

Each of us has things that excite us to the point that our entire energy shifts just by talking about them.  Let me share a small example; I recently posted the following question on Facebook:

“What one thing completely lights you up when you talk about it or think about it?”

I immediately received all kinds of responses like:
Art!
My children!
Flying!
The Sea!
Mythic Stories!
Kittens!
Spirituality and bass guitars!
The love of my life!

…and the list went on.

These are things that people truly love, they are passions that make them who they are and they are actually clues to these people’s life’s purpose.

Abraham says that, “The basis of your life is freedom, the purpose of your life is joy.”  Though it sounds pretty simple, what does it actually mean to say that the purpose of your life is joy?
It means that it is our responsibility to find that which brings us true happiness and share it. Our life is our message, and how we do anything is how we do everything. So living our life’s purpose is about the way in which we live our lives each and every day. It’s about sharing our passions, experiencing things we love to do and it’s about taking small steps to invite our passions into our lives so that we can further connect with that which brings us joy.

Here is my invitation to you… find something that you are passionate about and do one small thing every day to bring the experience of that passion into your life.  It could be as simple as buying books or tapes on the subject you are passionate about, signing up for mailing lists with like minded people, donating time to your favorite charity, taking a walk in nature, attending seminars or workshops about what you love, anything counts as long as it’s an action step!  Then, send me an email at Bambi@BambiCorso.com and share what you’re doing so I can celebrate you!

There are so many ways in which to take small steps towards a purposeful life, it just takes the decision to do so.  The more you can surround yourself with the types of things you most want to manifest in your life the quicker you will begin to see them show up in your life.

Not quite sure what your deepest passions are anymore?  Then give me a call for your 20 minute, no-cost Life Fulfillment assessment just for taking action and making the call. I hope to hear from you!

It took many years for me to completely understand what this meant, but when I did, I realized the past is definitely behind us and we have the ability every moment of every day to decide how we want the rest of our life to be.

When I started taking 100% responsibility for my life, I realized I could not blame anyone or anything for my circumstances. This was a turning point, for I truly understood that I had so much more power than I ever realized, power to be what I wanted to be, to do what I wanted to do, and the power to choose how to use each moment.

Taking responsibility for our lives means we can no longer place blame for how things have turned out, or for the things we have or have not done.  It requires that we connect with the authentic part of ourselves in order to live a purposeful life.  We are 10% what actually happens to us and 90% how we respond or react to what happens.  In every moment we have a choice; respond or react, be kind or unkind, tell the truth or tell a lie, be loving or hateful, appreciate or take for granted. These are all conscious choices.

Part of conscious choice and authenticity is also choosing to begin doing something you have always wanted to do, to live out a dream or pursue a calling.  Everyone has something they long to experience and many of them develop and live by reasons for why it hasn’t happened yet. They may be waiting until they get married or divorced, until the kids are grown, until they change jobs, until there’s more money coming in, until they have more free time or whatever it is that keeps them from living their dream.  Why put off until the next moment what you could start doing right now? Today is the first day of the rest of your life, so don’t allow yourself to put off doing something that can bring you tremendous joy right now.  All it takes is one small step towards the direction of your dreams to start participating in your life in a new and empowered way.  Choose to take responsibility for who you are and who you want to be, and you will begin to see immediate results.  For example, if you have always wanted to work with animals, start by volunteering one hour a week at a local animal shelter. The idea is to choose a direction toward being true to yourself.

If you want to lead a more peaceful life with less conflict, when the moment comes that you are faced with conflict, make a peaceful response your course of action. Life is about deliberate choices. We can’t always control what happens to us or the external circumstances, but we can control how we respond to them, and who we are as we move through them. Life is all about choice as Rush says so wonderfully in their song Freewill, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life, so start living the life you want now.

We are always broadcasting (Being Responsible for Our Awesome Destiny)

Imagine that you are the sole owner and operator of your very own radio station but the radio station is YOU, and the radio station is always broadcasting because that’s what radio stations do. And you’re not the only one, there are billions of people in the world and every one of them has their own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and actions.  Therefore, every person is constantly sending out a broadcast through their own radio station of those vibrations and either drawing in or pushing away situations, people and things that they want.  As the owner and operator of your radio station, you are completely responsible for the transmissions you send (or the music you play).

Playing with an Abraham-Hicks quote, I reworded it a little to apply it to this idea, “As you “think” you broadcast, as you “broadcast” you attract, as you “attract” you receive.”

Who is tuning into your broadcast?

“Like attracts like”, meaning that whatever you are putting your attention on through your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and actions is what you are broadcasting through your radio station. No one else can send out a broadcast on your behalf, you are the only one responsible for what your station broadcasts. And whatever you broadcast is attracting an audience or result with the same frequency or vibration. For example, people who want to listen to classical music are not going to tune into a hard rock station.  If you want to attract classical listeners, start by broadcasting classical music.

Successful radio stations know their audience and design their station around the likes and dislikes of those desired listeners.  They broadcast very specific information, music and advertisements because they know who they want to tune into their broadcast. This is called deliberate creation. But creation happens whether it’s deliberate or not, so it’s important to stay mindful of what we’re broadcasting.

Fine-tune your frequency

If you want immediate feedback as to whether your broadcast is working towards your desire, just look at your results. Do you have what you want?  Are you happy? Are you experiencing joy? Is your life going where you want it to go?  If not, chances are your broadcast is not in alignment with what you truly desire, or you may be focusing on what you don’t want versus what you do want. From here, you can make changes and adjustments to your broadcast so that you are in alignment with what you want.  And remember, we cannot change other people; we can only change ourselves, so don’t try to change the “listeners”, because we all know that doesn’t work!

As the deliberate creator of your own life, practice broadcasting what you want to attract and you will begin drawing back to you more of the same.

You might hear yourself saying things like this,

~ I just want to stay home but I have to go to the store today.

~ I have to go pick up the kids from school.

~ I’m so tired but I have to cook a good meal for my family tonight.

~ Ugg, I have to go to work/school today.

~ I have to do my homework/chores before I can do something for myself.

~ Another day and I have to do the laundry, empty the trash, pull the weeds, pay the bills…

And on it goes.

Well, I have a suggestion for you. Stop doing things you “have to” do. Just stop.  Stop right now. Seriously.

I know what you’re thinking, “Has she completely lost her mind? I can’t stop doing all these things I have to do!”

The truth is, I’m going to suggest a very simple tool that will immediately change your perspective and give you a new set of eyes in which to see all of your “have to’s”.  Are you ready?

It’s this simple, replace the words “I have to” with “I get to”.

~ I get to go to the store today.

~ I get to pick up the kids from school.

~ I get to cook a big meal for my family tonight and it’s going to take hours.

~ I get to go to work/school today.

~ I get to do my homework/chores before I go to sleep tonight

~ I get to do the laundry, empty the trash, pull the weeds, pay the bills…

All around the world there are people who would do almost anything to “get to” do any of things you feel you “have to” do.

Gratefulness and appreciation are among the highest vibrational emotions we can experience.  So the more we can be grateful for the things in our lives, the more things to be grateful for start showing up. Begin to count your blessings and be grateful that you are able to do these things… that you get to do these things.

Just try it out for a week and see what happens. I’ll bet you’ll find that these things are not nearly as overwhelming and in fact, you’ll actually start enjoying them a lot more.

I knew that if I waited for whatever it was I was working on to be perfect then I would never actually complete it. I had to get out of my own way and just do it. You see, perfection is a word that goes against the action of implementation and allows us to procrastinate instead of allowing ourselves to be in motion and be part of the momentum of life living itself. And perfectionism has a payoff. It means I never have to put myself out there for fear of judgment from others or even from fear of success.

To be honest, perfection isn’t even a word that should be in our vocabulary. It implies the unachievable. There is a certain kind of tension between the opposites when it comes to this word because nothing will ever be perfect and yet everything is perfect just the way it is. The ideal way is accepting and appreciating things exactly as they are.

The beauty in taking imperfect action is it allows us to be on the journey of becoming instead of seeing a destination point that is far from our reach today. To apply imperfect action immediately brings us one step closer to that destination by just being and doing.

Here’s a great quote that compliments this idea using human relationships as the example:

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ~Sam Keen

And so it is with everything in life.

If you find yourself challenged with overcoming perfection, let me share a few suggestions to get you moving forward:

Imperfect Action is Better than No Action
Taking imperfect action propels us into the next step of our life, it allows for things to move forward, to gain momentum and it allows us to be present and active in the creative process. So don’t wait for the perfect idea, the perfect time, the perfect person or the perfect scenario, just do it, get it out there knowing that anything you do can be improved on or tweaked at a later time if necessary. If you don’t put something out there first, then nothing will happen.

“Done is Better than Perfect” ~Scott Allen
Remember that life is happening all the time, it does not stop, it is constantly evolving and changing. Share the passion of who you are and what you do and people will feel that and appreciate your efforts and your courage. See what happens by putting it out there, try something out and let it be an ongoing part of the process and not the end of it.

Confidence is Built by Taking a Step at a Time, Even an Imperfect One
Like anything else, confidence is built one step at a time. By taking action in any form, we are taking steps towards our fullest life, our dreams and our future. You will be surprised at how much stronger and more confident you will feel in yourself just by taking action steps, even imperfect ones.

Celebrate Your Successes
In an effort to make things perfect, we forget to celebrate the little things that we accomplish. Instead of focusing on what things didn’t work, bring your focus to the things that did work and feel good about those things. Celebrate every single success with enthusiasm!

Are you Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re a perfectionist and have something you have been putting off doing or creating, then I encourage you to make a decision to get it done, now, and then share your story with me here on my blog to inspire others to do the same!

I believe in you! Now just do it!

Remembering that the Law of Attraction is always at work in our lives, we can begin to take some personal inventory about where we actually are in relation to where we want to be when it comes to finding that right person and relationship. Manifesting our desires begins with clarity, not only about what it is that we want in a partner, but also clarity about what areas of ourselves may be keeping us from manifesting this person in our life.

What I often see in my coaching practice is that instead of people focusing on what they do want in an ideal partner, they spend their time focusing on what they don’t want only to have more of what they don’t want continuously show up. This is why clarity is crucial as the first part of the manifestation process because clarity leaves no room for confusion. People who find that they are not manifesting the right person in their lives may also find that they have been putting out unclear messages, therefore, getting unclear results.

One should also notice if he or she is operating from limiting beliefs or fears around finding the right person as this is something they may not even be aware that they’re doing. Remember that the Law of Attraction is creating our current reality, whether we’re doing it consciously or unconsciously, so better to operate from a conscious mindset than to allow those unknown factors to choose for us.

Another thing to watch for is how you “feel” about meeting the right person. Are you happy and excited about the process or does it feel like a lot of hard work and a chore? The higher your vibration about the process, by making it a fun and joyful experience, the easier it will be.

So if you are someone who is interested in attracting the “right” person into your life, then please go through the questions below to better understand yourself as you begin this journey.

Start by asking yourself:

~ What do I want?
I suggest you get very clear about everything you want in this person, what the specifics are including what you want emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Focus only on what you want, instead of focusing on what you don’t want. I suggest you write these things down on paper because writing things down makes them very real and gives them solidity.

~ Have I spent time with myself discovering how I am growing in ways that will prepare me to have the relationship I desire?
In other words, have you done the transitional work first to be ready for the relationship you want to manifest? If you are aware of the areas within yourself that need some work, have you taken the steps necessary to correct those things? If not, what steps can you take now to do so?

~ What fears do I have around manifesting this person in my life?
Realizing that you have underlying fears about finding this right person can be very liberating because then you can do something about them. Examples of fears one might have are, “love is painful”, “I am afraid of being hurt again”, “nobody will ever love me until I lose this weight or find a better job” – you can fill in the blank. These fears place an energetic field around you that says, “I don’t really believe I can have what I want” or “I’m not worthy of love”. And because fear is an energy, as you send out this vibration (knowingly or unknowingly), that is what comes back to you. This process requires that we be very honest with ourselves and if needed, take the steps necessary to become a vibrational match to what and who we want.

Remember, the biggest steps we can take are becoming conscious of the thoughts we are thinking and therefore the energy we are sending out. Then, we can make corrections to those things energetically and emotionally to manifest what we desire.