Remembering that the Law of Attraction is always at work in our lives, we can begin to take some personal inventory about where we actually are in relation to where we want to be when it comes to finding that right person and relationship. Manifesting our desires begins with clarity, not only about what it is that we want in a partner, but also clarity about what areas of ourselves may be keeping us from manifesting this person in our life.

What I often see in my coaching practice is that instead of people focusing on what they do want in an ideal partner, they spend their time focusing on what they don’t want only to have more of what they don’t want continuously show up. This is why clarity is crucial as the first part of the manifestation process because clarity leaves no room for confusion. People who find that they are not manifesting the right person in their lives may also find that they have been putting out unclear messages, therefore, getting unclear results.

One should also notice if he or she is operating from limiting beliefs or fears around finding the right person as this is something they may not even be aware that they’re doing. Remember that the Law of Attraction is creating our current reality, whether we’re doing it consciously or unconsciously, so better to operate from a conscious mindset than to allow those unknown factors to choose for us.

Another thing to watch for is how you “feel” about meeting the right person. Are you happy and excited about the process or does it feel like a lot of hard work and a chore? The higher your vibration about the process, by making it a fun and joyful experience, the easier it will be.

So if you are someone who is interested in attracting the “right” person into your life, then please go through the questions below to better understand yourself as you begin this journey.

Start by asking yourself:

~ What do I want?
I suggest you get very clear about everything you want in this person, what the specifics are including what you want emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Focus only on what you want, instead of focusing on what you don’t want. I suggest you write these things down on paper because writing things down makes them very real and gives them solidity.

~ Have I spent time with myself discovering how I am growing in ways that will prepare me to have the relationship I desire?
In other words, have you done the transitional work first to be ready for the relationship you want to manifest? If you are aware of the areas within yourself that need some work, have you taken the steps necessary to correct those things? If not, what steps can you take now to do so?

~ What fears do I have around manifesting this person in my life?
Realizing that you have underlying fears about finding this right person can be very liberating because then you can do something about them. Examples of fears one might have are, “love is painful”, “I am afraid of being hurt again”, “nobody will ever love me until I lose this weight or find a better job” – you can fill in the blank. These fears place an energetic field around you that says, “I don’t really believe I can have what I want” or “I’m not worthy of love”. And because fear is an energy, as you send out this vibration (knowingly or unknowingly), that is what comes back to you. This process requires that we be very honest with ourselves and if needed, take the steps necessary to become a vibrational match to what and who we want.

Remember, the biggest steps we can take are becoming conscious of the thoughts we are thinking and therefore the energy we are sending out. Then, we can make corrections to those things energetically and emotionally to manifest what we desire.

Each of us throughout our lives has encountered someone who is troublesome or difficult to be around. They may be fighting addictions or anger issues. Perhaps it’s someone at work who you just can’t seem to get along with or a family member who breaks all the rules and is hard to deal with.  This may be anyone, a spouse or loved one, children, parents, friends, co-workers or  someone you love but you just don’t know how to be with them.  These are people who are painful to be around, or who cause you a lot of anxiety and struggle. You may even be that person to other people.

In his CD set titled, “The Secrets of an Inspirational (In-Spirit) Life”, Dr. Wayne Dyer shares the following story originally taken from a book called “Contact, The First Four Minutes” by Leonard Sunin (now out of print), about a tribe called the Babemba or Bemba, who make their home in an area of Africa that includes Zambia and the Congo.  The Babemba tribe of southern Africa has a social structure with an elementary criminal code. Their close community living makes harshness unnecessary. A visitor was deeply impressed by the tribe’s handling of antisocial and/or delinquent behaviors, which are exceedingly infrequent.

As you read the following, just bring to mind this difficult person or people in your life in which you want to be a source of inspiration and understanding, or who you just want to know how to be with:

“In the Babemba tribe, when a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he or she is placed in the center of the village, alone and unfettered. All work ceases, the entire village gathers around the accused individual, then each person of every age begins to talk out loud to the accused. One at a time each person tells all the good things that the one in the center ever did in his or her lifetime.  Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with any detail and accuracy is recounted. All positive attributes, good deeds strengths and acts of kindness are recited carefully and at length. No one is permitted to fabricate, to exaggerate or to be facetious about the accomplishments or the positive aspects of the accused person.  The tribal ceremony often lasts several days, not ceasing until everyone is drained of every positive comment that can be mustered.  At the end, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is symbolically welcomed back into the tribe. The necessity for such ceremonies is rare; it only occurs once in every 4 or 5 years.”

When we change our point of focus as the Law of Attraction states, we begin to open up to opportunities otherwise unseen.  This way of working with a difficult person in your life is a beautiful example of unconditional love.  What would it look like if you took this practice and applied it to your own life?  How might your relationships change? What possibilities could this type of love and caring open up?  We will only know the truth of this by doing it within our own lives.  Here is an opportunity to see with new eyes, and hear with new ears.  This practice is called many things, and much like a Gratefulness Journal, allows us to put our focus on what we appreciate, and what we feel grateful for.

So let’s celebrate the goodness in all the people we come in contact with.  Let’s allow people to be exactly who they are while being an inspiration to them by our ability to see the brightest parts of their being.  Just as we cannot know others’ reason for being, neither can people know ours.   Coming from a place of love, kindness and appreciation, we allow others to blossom. We can even apply this process to people all over the world, people whose cultures we may not understand or agree with.  Just imagine what it would feel like, if instead of being judged and punished, you were loved and appreciated, and how that might change your entire life. Be that gift to someone else starting now by opening your heart and sharing it.