Do you ever wonder why you keep ending up in situations that keep you from reaching your goals no matter how big or small?
The truth is, sometimes we all engage in self defeating behaviors such as procrastination, fear, envy, obsession, anger, self pity, compulsiveness, neediness, guilt, rebellion or inaction. But for others, these are a way of life and when left unaddressed, these behaviors can keep us from ever living the fulfilling and meaningful life we desire.
Do any of the following sound familiar?
- Saying Yes when you want to say No
- Waiting until it’s too late
- Letting other people control your life
- Chasing after love and approval from parents or loved ones
- Getting involved with the wrong people
- Playing it safe
- Always having to be right
- Focusing on what your partner/children/co-worker is doing wrong
- Not learning from your mistakes
- Trying to change others
- Letting fear run your life
- Holding it all in
And the list goes on.
If so, then you are engaged in self defeating behavior. So what do you do about it?
The first thing to do is to acknowledge what it is that you are doing. Understand that by continuing to live like this, for even one more day, you will keep yourself from ever living fully. Therefore, the time to take responsibility and take charge is now, right now. Only you can make the deliberate choice that is required so that you can change self defeating behaviors into self empowering ones.
Ask yourself what the payoff is for engaging in these behaviors and how they are allowing you to play “small” in your life. Not only do you hurt yourself, but you hurt others by not being the amazing person you were born to be and sharing your gifts.
The biggest obstacle to change is often self confidence and the belief that you can actually learn new and effective ways of dealing with old patterns. But like everything else, the journey begins with the first step and if you can imagine living a life that brings you great joy, abundance, love and fulfillment, then you are already part of the way there.
There is no better way to earn personal self respect than by overcoming self defeating behaviors. Find small ways of shifting your thinking to empowering actions. For example, the next time you try to change something about someone else, stop and ask yourself how you can change something about yourself to be a better person. The next time you find yourself procrastinating, take an action towards completing a project. Set your timer for 15 minutes and go at it with all your might.
Decide what you DO want and place your focus and attention on how you want to live your life and how you want to wake up feeling about yourself each and every day. Get in the habit of acknowledging all of the things you appreciate about yourself and start living into your Greatness by making small changes to unhealthy behaviors that don’t support you. Live your life “on purpose”, one choice at a time.